Today is chilled
tonight creeps in the underbelly of the now
working its way to the surface
harnessing momentum
28 minutes
until the rest of my life
my eyes glazed over with dreams
a stagnant malaise coats the room
and the people around me
a crack runs along the high, far wall
some poor trapped number or formula
making a break for it
and those hollow heads, air from ear to ear
27 minutes…
(Source: smackintosh)
The World Ends With US?
Day: 5
“Hey Neku…wake up! Come on…we’re gonna get our next mission and you better be awake to see it!!”
God, was I ever tired. With this sick…game I’m forced to play, a good night sleep is way past my reach…
“Ughh…cut it out Shiki! I’m up, alright?? What are you so goddamn frantic about? The mission isn’t even here yet!”
“Good morning, sleeping beauty!” Her voice dripped sarcasm. “You snore like an elephant, by the way”.
“Look…just leave me alone. Ever since I came into the Game, I haven’t been able to sleep well at all.”
This was the truth, not just me getting her off my back.
Another truth about this game is that it’s changed me. I don’t know how it started or why, but I really am trying to…like people.
I’m a lone wolf…it’s all I’ve ever known. But this game…I don’t know. It DOES something to you. It messes with your brain.
I’ve always thought that trust was a lie. Just another route to an early grave. I don’t have an option now. I have to trust my partner, no matter how much I’d rather…blind my self with a spoon..hah….whatever. Well, in any case, this brings me to Shiki. This girl is truly whacked; annoying as hell, whiney like no other…a total case. Yet, I’ve found she’s different from the people I’ve known. So much so that I’m gonna give her a chance…
“EARTH TO NEKU! You in there??”
“Hunnn? Oh yea…sure…”
As I said this, my phone started to buzz lightly with a beeping noise.
“What does it say?”
Reach the AMX building…
You have 5 minutes. Fail, and face erasure.
- The Reapers
“That’s pretty strange for a miss-“
“What??? AMX? We’re all the way on Cat Street!! There’s NO way to make it in five minutes!!”
“SHIKI! Come on, relax…ugghh…I can’t believe I’m even saying this but…..get on my back…”
“Your WHAT?? B-b-b-but that’ll slow you down a t-ton! I couldn’t possibly!”
God, she was blushing like crazy…but I guess I must have been too. Why did I even think of this??
“Look. The only way we’re gonna get there in time is this. You’re pretty slow…at least slower than me…and you also couldn’t possibly run in that… skirt your wearing…” Damn and I though I couldn’t get any redder…
“Fine. But we really need to hurry our asses down there!”
“Well?? Then get on, dammit!!”
“Oh…uhhh..right…sorry”
I gently lifted her off the ground and then I was off! I was sprinting like a mad man. I don’t remember ever running this fast…didn’t even think I could. It didn’t help that Shiki was giving my neck a definite death grip. At least she weighted close to nothing.
“NEKU!! I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE I’M SCARED CUS OF THE GRIP AND ALL, BUT THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!! SO EXILATING!” she giggled all of this, by the way…Well at least one of us is having fun, I thought.
“SHIKI!! WOULD YOU QUITE SCREAMIN’ IN MY GODDAMN EAR??” I couldn’t help but laugh a little, too.
“Silly, you’re screaming too!”
She said this at noise level only meant for me…right into my ear, mind you. I stumbled a bit at this, but regained my composer.
“ALMOST THERE, NOW…JUST A COUPLE MORE BLOCKS!” she screamed despite my efforts.
Heaving and panting, I finally made it. We made there, both intact. Maybe she seemed light at first, but running with a crazy girl on your back is no walk through the park.
“Hey Shiki?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you please…get off?”
“Oops! Sorry, Neku”, she said softly.
“Hey Neku, my watch says we made it in under 3 minutes…maybe we miscalculated the distances…” she trailed off.
“What? seriously?”
“Yea…hmm…maybe my watch is broken?” she said more to herself than to me.
All that running for nothing? We could of walked there with time to spare!! These fucking reapers…the missions were rigged…the enjoyed this…toying with people. Making our lives, well, afterlives a living…dead? HELL!!!
“GODDAMNIT!!!!!! If I don’t kill the reapers, their fucking game is gonna kill us first!!”
“Neku?? What’s wrong?
“Here I am!! Sweating like a pig after hauling you halfway across the city, and it turns out it wasn’t even that far at all!!”
“ummmm….”
“Sorry Shiki, it’s just that the Game is really starting to rattle me…it’s nothing…”
“I know that must of sucked for you, Neku…but I thought it was really fun! I mean, you even seemed like that didn’t completely ruin your day…well, until now at least. Maybe YOU even had fun! I don’t know. But Neku…you seem really bothered by something…and I don’t think it’s about the game.”
What?? That caught me off guard for a second…hopefully it didn’t show on my face. How could she tell that I’ve been thinking about these…painful memories that she would never…that no one would ever understand.
“I can see it in your eyes, Neku, that something’s not right. I just want you to know that you can talk to me if you want…I’ll always listen.”
I mustered up the darkest look I could give her and said this: “And why would I tell YOU!? I thought you were different but you’re probably just like everyone else…acting sympathetic but never actually looking out for anyone but yourself. THE WORLD IS ALL THE SAME! You’d never understand me…no one would…no one can…”
She looked terrified…utterly horrified. HAH…smooth, Neku…good going.
“I’m s-sorry you feel that way”, she said in close to a whisper before she ran off, tears obviously streaming from her eyes.
With all the venom I could gather, I mumbled to myself: “I hate this goddamn game…”
I feel like I look like I’m glowing inside…
A man I thought I knew from behind
taps me on the shoulder and I shiver
anticipating nerve endings
all out into motion
a strong breeze rips through my conscious mind-state
my psyche
everything glows a smooth purple-gold
I smell the perfume of a cigarette basin besides me
It makes me think about things like life and that man I thought I knew
the one that made me shiver
or is it just the wind…
The forbidden is what I think about, laying in bed when I try and sleep
The forbidden is the strangely clarified dreams I dream
I dream of forbidden actions, all while smiling a REM smile
The forbidden is what I breath in the deadest night air, walking dangerous paths. Forbidden matter encircles me.
Not everything is forbidden in Russia.
I visited Russia. What a great song.
The forbidden is what I sing when everyone is listening and is what I dance like no one is watching
I am the forbidden
I’m sick and tired
of making “Promises” with “Friends”
the ones that turn out empty, sour and barren in the end
I’m tired and sick of
nameless faces
shoddy places
made-up graces
everything that “Promises” are made of
That man, who lingers somberly in the dark
He follows shadows as they trace across the walls
Each one a ephemeral form of unparalleled beauty
Intricate detail and patterns like a painting
The dark shadows are his, and he keeps them in his backwater mind
And he plays them back on a reel for the world
His thoughts and actions are truly not of this world
Shallow comfort, for him, comes only from the dark
Unnatural pictures and scenarios trap themselves in his abyssal mind
He sits by himself high upon the frigid courtyard wall
His morbid thoughts are displayed to all as paintings
Scratches and obscure markings are his own distorted beauty
Decrepit vines creep up with grim beauty
Encasing the wall, and his world
He sits on his throne as the motionless Monarch-of-Filth…a still-life painting
His ambiguous face shadowed in deep black darkness
Few people have approached his wall
They let him keep his mystery, the don’t mind
Not even he could excavate the recesses of his cavernous mind
Other’s horror was his beauty
A different perspective, hidden by a vine-covered wall
He only dreams of becoming part of our real world
But every dream like this swiftly falls back to darkness
He could only exercise his wish in a single painting
Color, texture, vivacity, and depth give life to the painting
It is a new dimension of his violent mind
The colors are vibrantly bright…no dark
There is no disputing it’s radiant beauty
He wants to finally open up to the world
So he cuts down the vines and hung the picture on his wall
The passerby’s stand astounded at the wall
Streaks of blue, orbs of silver, chunks of red, his masterly painting
These innocent onlookers now drawn into his world
The nightmare box, his mind
Drones swept up, hypnotized by beauty
In a trance, they entered his haven of darkness
The wills of these people were smothered by his mind
He adds them to his collection of paintings
And retreats from whence he came, back into the dark
Follow me into the darkness
Don’t slow down, don’t fall behind!
I know how you feel about the dark
It’s alright. We all have our time in the sun
and the moon follows suit
my condolences to your youth
destroy it now or forever hold your
piece of brick, stunning stone in your hands
of a clock tick with rage
in the pit of your stomach
stomach age with a cage
to surrender with care is a thing to behold
we all get old
it just takes one to know when one is there
My heart’s light palpitation
Is rising in elation
Reeling in this sensation
My minds calibration
Is set to your location
A distant destination
Increasing my frustration
Inducing aggravation
Such silent depravation
This hellish separation-
In my exasperation
I have a revelation
And I make an exclamation
Noting my determination
And my gleaming inspiration
In which to ease my desperation:
“My careful adoration
Is a subtle indication
Of my strong determination
For my own heart’s liberation”
Is this dedication and fixation merely sweet sedation?
Or a strange hallucination…
let it be said
home was found by the dead
the plight of the living, on them, it’s not shed
the path they have tread
and the tears they have bled
that horrible screaming resounds in their head
with their wings fully spread
and their hearts filled with lead
these horribly living fled
for the land of the dead
let it be known
that they’re chilled to the bone
as they march to a rhythm that’s been set in stone
far, they have flown
for their sins, they atone
they groan, moan, and drone
for in their tomb, they’re alone
once they reach their destination, they now can rest their feet
gnarled, scratched, scathed, scalded, on the cold concrete
they raise their forlorn heads, to gaze upon the blood-red moon
they see their blighted world above, and hear it’s haunted tune
the world shifts its tilt as the dead open their doors
the wretched living are herded in, filth drips from every pore
their former lives, filled with slaving, toiling, withering away
the welcomed bliss of ignorance, their troubles melt away
now in their final resting place, their souls are much at ease
they separate their hearts and minds from coldness and disease
6 feet under, worries sundered, they can no longer roam
an eerie sound will now resound…it sounds like “welcome home”
Write about black ice:
It’s that prying black ice that trips us up. It helps us to see the ground more clearly. Just like any invisible obstacle, we can’t anticipate it, so it hurts all the more
************************************************************
Black ice
stings twice
thrice strain
to ice sprain
you slip to fall
and I trip up small
looking at you black and blue
I know that what you say is true
how could you tell a lie
all beat up, two black eyes
listen to me, feel my pulse
and know I cannot tell a lie
I touch your face, expression wry
you say, “I cannot wait to die”
